Small Victories

I have not been able to TRULY enjoy the visit of my nieces because I've been playing the role of caretaker, a bit of the parent role, and usually, the disciplinarian. Nothing to the extent of time outs, or anything of the sort, but constant redirection, and constant reminders of simple things like manners, and hand washing, and not touching hot stoves.

It has been exhausting, and it has proven to me that I am NOT ready for children. Of course,  I don't have the counterpart with which to produce said children, but regardless... I'm not prepared. This is something I still need to do quite a bit of thinking about.

It other news, I've fallen off the fitness wagon, and subsequently been run over by it. Everything I lost prior to vacation I have gained back. Starting this week, though, I'm back at it full force. I'm walking every day, some days even on my lunch breaks. I'm watching my food intake again, and revising my role as "Food Nazi." I'm measuring and rationing and weighing everything like it's the Great Depression.

But it's the only thing that works. Being in complete, total control works for me. Obsessively logging my food, and eating the same things for breakfast, lunch, and snacks works for me. This is MY diet plan, but I don't begrudge others theirs.

The Zombie Dash is quickly approaching, and I'm not sure that I'll be ready. Honestly, I want to cross the finish. And if it takes me an hour... so be it. At least I did it. I'm reading things about the recent race in Colorado that have me pretty scared. Barbed wire? Electric fences? Eek! But, this is supposed to be the first step in a long journey to health... so I'm taking it all with a grain of salt.

I really need to step up my training program. Does anyone have any good ideas? Keep in mind that I'm fat, I sit at a desk, and my..."upper body region"... does not handle running very well.